Thursday, February 15, 2007
My mom just had open heart surgery. My sister wondered why they call it open heart surgery when it's really open chest surgery. I said they don't hyphenate open heart so they don't mean that they open the heart anyway.
The medical people told us they were going to perform an ultrasound examination on Mom's legs to find the right veins to harvest. That word really bugged my sister. She's always been bothered by veins and things that stick out. The word harvest when associated with veins really gave her the jim jams.
For example, if she saw a fast motion film of grass sprouting, she'd get the heebie jeebies. I once bought her sons a Play-Doh set with an extrusion machine. It spit out Play-Doh like a pasta maker. It drove her nuts. When she saw those little ropes of Play-Doh being squeezed out of the machine, she'd cover her eyes. I shouldn't have bought it, but that' s what brothers are for, you know.
So back in the hospital, her husband and I were thinking up all the stuff we could to bother her about harvesting veins and things sticking out of holes. He said something about a field of growing veins swaying in the wind like a wheat field. Then he said he'd like to harvest them with a scythe. She got a combination of the willies, the heebies, and the jim jams all at once. Then we laid off the subject.
Mom seems to be doing fine. They have her walking up and down the halls already and she'll probably go home by the end of this week.
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