Thursday, February 15, 2007

Vein Harvesting

My mom just had open heart surgery. My sister wondered why they call it open heart surgery when it's really open chest surgery. I said they don't hyphenate open heart so they don't mean that they open the heart anyway.

The medical people told us they were going to perform an ultrasound examination on Mom's legs to find the right veins to harvest. That word really bugged my sister. She's always been bothered by veins and things that stick out. The word harvest when associated with veins really gave her the jim jams.

For example, if she saw a fast motion film of grass sprouting, she'd get the heebie jeebies. I once bought her sons a Play-Doh set with an extrusion machine. It spit out Play-Doh like a pasta maker. It drove her nuts. When she saw those little ropes of Play-Doh being squeezed out of the machine, she'd cover her eyes. I shouldn't have bought it, but that' s what brothers are for, you know.

So back in the hospital, her husband and I were thinking up all the stuff we could to bother her about harvesting veins and things sticking out of holes. He said something about a field of growing veins swaying in the wind like a wheat field. Then he said he'd like to harvest them with a scythe. She got a combination of the willies, the heebies, and the jim jams all at once. Then we laid off the subject.

Mom seems to be doing fine. They have her walking up and down the halls already and she'll probably go home by the end of this week.


Anonymous said...

Glad to hear she's up and around already. I always thought the danger with these kinds of surgeries is that the patient doesn't engage in enough activity afterwards.

I was never creeped out by the play-doh pasta maker before, but now I kind of am.

BTW, the class you thought you were going to miss isn't until March.

Frostbike said...

It sounds like mom came through in good shape if she's up and around already. Good news.

Jeff Moser said...

Glad to hear about your mom.

That play-doh fun factory reminds me of my chihuahua puppy...

rigtenzin said...

I'm glad I didn't miss the class. I wanted to hangout with other bike nerds and work on a hub.

Jeff: Do you squeeze your Chihuahua to get the extrusion process going? My daughter wants one of those little guys.

Jeff Moser said...

Oh, no...the dog does just fine on her own. It's amazing how much comes out of that little dog. She must eat when we're not looking.

Eclectchick said...

Glad your mom came through so well!!

The word "harvest" associated with anything other than plant matter gives me a major case of wiggins and jimjams, not to mention just plain ugs me out.

T3 said...

jimjams -- that's my new favorite!

my dad had heart surgery a few years ago. it's impressive what they can do though... it was amazing to see people getting up on their feet within hours of the surgery. i guess it really helps with recovery.

i was also pretty freaked out by how hard his heart was pumping just laying there in bed. he was cranking like 160 bpm.

Sophzilla said...

Glad to read that your Mom is doing better! I am in awe of your psychological torture talent. Do you do seminars? :)

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